41 years old, 41 years gone

Hard to imagine him 82. My Dad forever 41.

The day was a usual Friday for me today. Busy day at work, after an unexpected 4 day work week.

I had Wednesday off and puttered around the house in the morning and picked Mom up by 11:30. She and I rode to Columbia Mall. I had gifts to exchange there and she patiently waited in the car reading, her knee was bothering her and she did not want to walk a lot. I found an Aveda store and picked up a few things for me and a treat for Tim for Valentine's day. I exchanged my gifts and we rode home. A lovely day with Mom.

Then Friday the 10th came. It seems to always sneak up on me. I remember the day well. It was a warm sunny afternoon and Dad was waiting for me to get home from school. It was Valentine's week and I was excited making my Valentine box. He was in the bed in the downstairs bedroom, he could not go up a flight of steps anymore, he got to winded. He kissed me and told me he loved me, the rest is a bit of a blur. I know Mom had our rocks out that we had finished tumbling from a Christmas present. Kate came over with a catalog for the summer classes at the University of Maryland. Dad was always bettering himself. The ambulance was in the driveway. Dad was so quiet, I remember him there on the stretcher in the living room, he seemed so still. Then he was in the ambulance.... Mom drove away following the ambulance. Kate and I did the laundry from his bed. He never came home that time. The funeral is a blur except for all my camp fire girl troop there in their uniforms and Ken Crowley. He had just played the scare crow in an Einstein Theater production of the Wizard of Oz and I was so impressed with him. I made a pipe cleaner pink heart to put in his coat pocket in the casket with him. Mom had a hard time deciding about weather to keep his wedding ring or not. She did and I am eternally grateful.

I really have no recollections about life from then until well into Junior High school.

My heart was broken, I was lost and lonely. Thank heaven for Mom, she for me and me for her. We became inseparable. I was the first latch key kid in my world. Everyone else had a Mom at home. I did not, she was at work. We did fine, my Mom and I.

And now, 41 years later, I am blessed to still have my Mom, to spend an unexpected day off with. To giggle with, spend time with and do the things together that we have always loved to do.

I miss you do much Dad. As usual, I'd love to sit and have a meal with you. I know you are with me often... I've sent many people to see you. Most recently Tim's Mom, Aunt Lois, Darlene, Mike, even Emily Blanche!

I have my Tim who is a constant companion and comfort to me. Thank you for sending him my way.

I love you Dad.
I love you too Momma.